To my abuser:
Thank you for your invitation on LinkedIn. Pardon me if ignore you, because you must be attempting to send a veiled message that you have kept tabs on me while I have decided to move on with my life and heal from the damage you left behind. If you have any semblance of a memory remaining, you surely remember how I was when we first met back in the days of MySpace. Surely you recall how vocal I could be with things I find morally objectionable, cruel, and despicable. There is no way you would have forgotten this, and I really hope you don’t think or expect that I would have forgotten all this. Do you?
Did you forget that day you had me on the floor with the butcher knife in my face? I told you that if I ever got away from you alive, I would tell everyone what you are. Unlike you, I keep my promises, because keeping my word means something. I’m not the one that uses it to manipulate people into getting what I want, then refusing to follow through once you’ve gotten what you came for. That, my not-so-little life lesson, is all on you. You must know that I talk about you and what you did, not just to me but the others who you abused before me. I use you as a warning to others to help them avoid being trapped in the darkness with others like you. I use you as a way to provide hope to others who are being (or have been abused) that no matter how much damage is lying in wait in the aftermath, there is hope. There is healing. There is life after. Most importantly, all those lies and threats and manipulation you used to control me are paper tigers. There are people who believe us, there are people who help us, and there are people who care about us.
Maybe you found my blog. Maybe you found my Twitter profile. They are both public, because I have nothing to hide. If you have seen them, go ahead and take it all in. Everything you read is a result of what you did to me and my finding strength and courage to overcome it. READ IT. Hunt me down. Follow me. Do whatever. I’m not hiding from you. This is my life, and you don’t get to chase me out. But you should know that if something were to happen to me, there are an army of people who would know who is at fault. Some of them are in possession of pertinent information to have you found and held accountable should you decide to retaliate. You can run all you want, but you, sir, are not that good at hiding. No one who is bent on revenge at all costs can stay hidden long, because your hatred and seething rage at being disregarded boils inside until you can’t take it anymore.
It was not easy at first to keep my promise that I made to tell everyone what I have lived through, but I promise you I have no secrets in things you did. I share them all, and I share them openly.
You failed at making me shrink back in shame.
You failed in making me hiding away in fear of you.
So monitor me if you want. But know this: I’m not going to stop – even if I am afraid of you. Know why? You don’t deserve the silence, and you don’t deserve the peace.
