3 comments on “Patrick Stewart Speaks on Personal Experience

  1. I can empathize with watching a beloved parent change into something ugly and uncontrollable when alcohol and depression are thrown into the mix. It’s a terrible thing seeing one parent attack the other. It changes your natural feelings of affection and the close bonds that should exist into something dark, and that creates the potential for you to walk down that same path if you are not careful.

    • I cannot say that that my stepfather was ever considered beloved by me, but I remember watching his drinking spiral out of control and the resulting neglect that befell my mother and half-sisters. After graduating high school, I moved into the house with them because I could no longer trust him with my sisters. Someone had to be there to intervene as agencies that were in place to help weren’t. It’s disconcerting to have physically put yourself between a child and a drunk man, but I did what I had to. Little by little, it also turned into financial support as the alcohol turned into his god. Someone had to help them, because they couldn’t make it on their own, and I would have felt absolutely horrible if I went on and lived my life and had everything I wanted if I knew they were going without basic things that people need to live.

      In regards to the dynamics of his and my mother’s relationship, he learned a little quicker for some reason not to put his hands on my mother. I made sure he knew I was aware he hit her, and I also made it understood in no uncertain terms that he was not to so much as breathe in her general direction, much less speak abusively to her or ever put his hands on her. Ever. Regardless of how things are between me and my mother, that’s one line you absolutely do not cross with me. And if you do, there will be consequences.

      I am proud of my sister for standing up to him the last time he hit her by going to the police and reporting it. He was removed from the home in 2001 and we did not allow him to come back. Living with him was like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And I cannot imagine watching the changes from the very beginning and having the rug pulled out from under you. I really only know him from when his drinking had reached the point where it out of control. There was no bond there, and the indifference quickly turned into scornful disdain.

      I hurt in my heart for anyone who had to grow up in the middle of all this and watch this happen between their parents. However, I don’t think how you turned out as an adult in regards to the way you choose to interact with and treat others was fated to be negative. You can resign yourself to a life of the same and become the figure you feared or you can reject it and choose to be compassionate, kind, and loving.

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