4 comments on “Thoughts on Domestic Abuse

  1. Thank you so much for sharing my blog here! Your story is one of bravery and the willingness to survive, no matter what. Keep sharing your story. It is encouraging to others who are going through their own difficulties. I think that sharing stories of our darkest moments removes the shame, and gives strength to ourselves and others because we realize we’re never truly alone in our struggles. Good work!

    • You are most welcome! It fits nicely with some other posts I have put up lately. I think it is important to constantly remind people about the harm that emotional abuse causes and to further dispel the misconception that verbal abuse doesn’t count.

      When I first started my blog in February, my blog was very vague, and I was still scared enough of my ex that I would not put anything up that had any identifying information at all. As time passed, I became more open both in what I revealed about myself and the experiences I suffered through. Despite what I have shared so far, there is still so much more that lies in wait.

      I wanted to put my story out here so others who feel alone. Even though we know in our head that we are not alone, accepting it in our hearts to the point where we can begin to shed the stigma and humuliation we carry is not always so easy. I consider myself to have a fairly positive outlook even though I have my bad days and triggers I could do without it. However, interacting with and reaching out to others who have suffered as I have has been encouraging. It helps me to continue to gain ground in my recovery, and seeing others do the same is inspiring.

      I wish you the best!

      • It’s coming up on a year since this blog post. How have you been doing in the meantime? My life has changed dramatically since then, not so much in my circumstances, but in my hope for the future and my determination that what my abuser did to me is not going to overshadow everything else about me for the rest of my life. It’s not easy. It’s never easy. It is, however, possible, and it is with the sheer force of my indomitable will that I am making my future better than my past…better than my life with him ever could have been.

        I hope you are doing well, my fellow sojourner.

        • Hi there! I generally am doing pretty well. I have to fight the hateful things he put in my head and then also my triggers, but I am learning slowly to get them under control. However, I find that ones brought on by anything catering to my fear of abandonment and rejection are almost impossible to stop. It’s like living with two people in my head. The normal one sees the train burning and careening off-course to the cliff up ahead and tries desperately to put on the brakes.. but the crazy is in control and drives it over the edge anyway. Pretty much.

          My life continues to get better for me every day I have my freedom from the abuse I endured. I was baptized a month and a half after the date on this post. I have many friends, a congregation I adore, and I overflow with blessings. I have a full summer coming up with wedding showers, weddings, and graduation parties. And I may even have a car on the road in a few months. Still working on getting out of my parents’ house! But, even though I still battle the financial abyss of debt and periodic triggers, I can say that I have taken my life back.

          It was so nice to hear from you! Thank you for stopping by. 🙂

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