13 comments on “Why I Show My Scars

  1. You are incredibly insightful and inspirational to me. I have been sharing my story, from the boring beginning and have only yet to breach my journey of pain… I sit here now, crying. Not out of sadness, or pity, but out of understanding and hope. I am safe here. I can speak, I can say things out loud without looking over my shoulder. I can relate. I can breathe. Thank you for your blog and for your support over mine.

    • I want you to read this next sentence very carefully. *EVERY part of your story, every last word you type about your journey from the very beginning to the woman you are today is meaningful.* It allows us to develop familiarity with you, to get know you and even the smaller details that make you who you are. Through this introduction, through the stories you share with us all, we are also better able to understand the emotions tied to the events in your life. It helps us identify with you and also lets us know how to provide support when you need it. So boring? I think not!

      Understanding and hope is an overwhelming feeling when it hits you. Once you truly not only logically know but also *feel* it in your heart and it resonates so deeply with who you are and what you want for yourself, you become so overjoyed at that thought, that all you can do is cry. Nice feeling, isn’t it?

      I also want to thank you for what you have shared so far. Already bringing up memories I had forgotten in the midst of the Kevin chaos and its fallout! Those memories are not always easy to retrieve, so when something someone writes brings them out, it’s a major deal to me. One more piece of me back in place.

      • I am searching for who I am, and you are very right about me becoming who I am because of the journey. I know that I am a stronger, maybe a little worse for wear, but I have gained patience, I have gained an amount of self worth that at one time was completely absent. Small steps, day by day, but a light is at the end of the tunnel.

        • you will find new and former(pre-abuse) parts of yourself. I can tell you from experience that with everything I went through, there was a small ember that stayed alive in me. no matter what happened, I knew somewhere deep down it was there. all I had to do was find it and reclaim it. once I left, the ember grew and grew. one day, maybe sooner than you think, you will find who you are and more. every time a feeling wants to come up, let it. you have to allow yourself to have all the emotions, even the bad, hateful ones to come out so you can deal with them and move on. you will find yourself and you will never be the same, but in a good way. good luck on your journey!

      • No… Listen… You went thru some traumatic things others would run from. I think you are able to tell of the things in your heart. If this is what gets you thru another day then so be it. This is therapy(writing). I’ve noticed from some reason I get two group of people following my blog.. Souls with eating disorders and abused souls… I am great for all. The next step in your healing is to forgive him.. I said forgive not forget… You are awakening and u are blessed.

        • I did…. forgive him for being a monster that is. I think it was in the Open Letter to My Abuser post.. Maybe me calling him that so freely makes it seem otherwise, but he can’t do anything other than be who he is. And what I believe is that to do the things he did to me, and that he described doing to his wife and laughing or acting smug about it, there can be no humanity in him.

          I think some people have an issue with forgiving, because they mistakenly believe that it means you also condone what they did. But this is not true. The forgiveness we extend to others is for ourselves, so that we don’t hold onto the negativity, anger, hurt, and frustration or let it consume us, thereby destroying our lives. I do not condone ANY of what he did, but if I held on to it, it would eat away at me and only give him more power. And he wouldn’t care anyway!

          So, I choose to look at all the wonderful things I do have now that I am free of him. And I am thankful for the example of a good, kind, loving, merciful, and patient man that in Kerwyn. Every woman should be so blessed.

          However, I also feel that I have a responsibility and a drive within to come here and share my story, bruises and all, so that someone either going through it looking for a way out or someone who has left and needs encouragement and understanding, can find the loving support they need to start healing. And the only way I can do that to the full is if share what I went through in its entirety, and sometimes that includes things like the post I put up tonight.

          Thank you for your comments, as always.

      • no. don’t tone it down. tell it how it is/was. toning it down only minimizes all you went through. you deserve to tell your whole truth. good, bad, and ugly. telling it like it is validates your experience. not writing it or leaving hard/ugly parts out only keeps you trapped. open the window and let it fly, girl!

        • It’s true… I do tend to minimize things. I am not sure if I always did this, or if it’s after Kevin. But I always worry about it being too much. Now that I think about it, it probably is fallout from him, because I also notice I still apologize for goofy, off the wall things. I need to work on that.

          I am not going to detail the image I got in my head when I read “open the window and let it fly, girl,” but let’s just say I laughed so hard, I choked on my water, and I think my lung momentarily came out. 🙂

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