12 comments on “Emotional Abuse (via thisisawar.com)

        • Ah, well…. in this case since it is not an foreign phrase adopted into the language, it would be hiragana (ひらがな). Katakana (カタカナ) is generally for words that the Japanese adopt into the language, and for non-Japanese names, etc. Things like that.

          There is more than one way to say it… You use any of these:

          よくやったあ、ね! (Yoku Yatta, ne)
          よくできた、ね! (Yoku dekita, ne)
          上出来だよ!(Joudeki da yo)

          Yes, I am a geek. I have the MS Global IME for Japanese installed on my notebook. Someday soon, I will be installing the simplified and traditional for Chinese as well as the Korean IME. Can I speak Chinese or Korean yet? Absolutely not. Can I learn it? Oh they are on my list, and if I have the IME for them to type on my notebook?!?!?!? *drools all over*

  1. How did you find this? I wish I had looked at something like this years ago. Just a small amount of information to prove that it was not all in my head, just an ounce of support and truth to what he was doing. Well done for sharing this, I hope it benefits the survivors of emotional abuse and aids them through their trauma. Is this an Australian article? How is emotional abuse tackled there? R xx

    • Ah, I found this by being the Google Queen of New York State. This is how I find a lot of things I post here. I try to search through the links as much as possible, because sometimes even though it doesn’t come up in the first several dozen search results, there are so gems hidden in there.

      Years ago, the issue was that much of this information was finally only *just* being spoken of publicly. Until that point, it was forced behind closed doors by everyone, including the abuser… family, friends, work, churches, law enforcement… If you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t happen kind of mentality. Which is unfortunate because how many countless lives were lost up to that point that could have been saved if someone had just opened their mouth? If someone had just made this available so we knew we weren’t crazy?

      However, the down side of this is since the amount of this type of information is so massive in its availability to us now, especially with the internet to share information, it illustrates how epidemic all forms of abuse are. But the positive in this is that it also shows more and more are increasingly coming forward to get out and to *share* their stories… so others don’t have to be in the same darkness they once were and never be able to find the switch they need to be able to see.

      I am leaning toward Canada because of the stats on the page, but I will look at the other pages on the site later and let you know. Australia has actually been great about pumping the information into the stream.. I do have a few videos and some information from there. Usually when you Google a domestic violence related topic, Australia comes up in the top searches. I am sure you can Google emotional abuse Australia and find plenty!

      I wasn’t ready to stop last night, but had to go to bed because I am working my Saturday today. I will look up a few things later when I come home.

      Thanks for your comment!

      • Are you a New Yorker? Sorry! I thought Australian for some peculiar reason 🙂 I guess there the U.S has a good base of knowledge about abuse? The U.K does, kinda. But not so much on emotional abuse so it was refreshing to read this page. xx

        • Well if by New Yorker, you don’t mean NYC. I live NE of there… in a maddeningly quiet rural area. *sigh* Some day!

          The US does has quite a bit of access to information on abuse. However, Australia is making quite a bit available. I think the key is just knowing what to look for. It’s harder to find more in depth information on emotional abuse. Many people still have trouble recognizing this as a valid type of abuse, but it is the most insidious…. and precedes other types, because the abusers need to render their victim incapable of standing up for themselves once they are ready to unleash the physical danger. It takes far longer to heal from verbal abuse, and I don’t that you even can heal totally. That isn’t to say that you can’t be happy, healthy, and lead a productive life… but some things just stay with you. I guess it is all in how you are able to handle it. I think emotional abuse in childhood is the worst, because you are still forming who you are and are so impressionable and malleable… it is so difficult to undo damage that was done during the years that you are growing. It becomes instilled in your personality in a way I think no emotional abuse as an adult can.

          • Oh absolutely. It is so wrong to put a child in that position and subject them to emotional abuse. My father began his reign of control from the age of around ten. A very impressionable age and although it initially was against my mother, he slowly switched and turned on me. I mean, what a way to confuse and destroy a growing mind. I, from reading your blog, see that you had to endure so much physical abuse. I’m so sorry. No one deserves the trauma you’ve suffered. Ros x

            • I have read in many places that once the children get older, it is quite common for the abuser to also direct attention toward the children.. The assumption is that they child may closely resemble the victimized parent, or perhaps the abuser feels like something in their life is wrong and therefore must be the child…

              To be honest, if it meant not having this garbage in my head, I would endure being beaten every day over the verbal abuse any day. For the most part, the physical wounds heal… bruises and red marks fade, cuts and broken bones heal… If the abuse is more severe, then there could be lasting physical effects, like my headaches (his favorite place to hit me was in the head because you can’t see the wounds under the hair unless they are drastic) and the problems I have with my legs (from being repeatedly struck in the legs with a metal bar). Even so… even though the physical abuse was bad, and any times I feared for my life… slowly being ripped apart and erased so they can rebuild the shell into a mute robot to use as their punching bag (verbal or otherwise) is far more devastating and the impact is permanent and so hard to overcome. And if you haven’t endured both, I am sure there is no way I can make anyone understand why I would so quickly choose to be physically beaten when it has the potential to cost my life.

              The damage caused by emotional abuse is just….. shattering. They try to empty your heart so you are nothing. So you have no worth or value for yourself. It’s just too cruel.

              • You are very brave and I commend you for speaking so openly. It’s midnight here in England and I better go to sleep lol! My husband is shaking his head that I’m addicted to WordPress but reading yours and others’ stories is such help and so humbling. Emotional abuse can truly break a person. Over time, I hope to put myself back together again.

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