4 comments on “Moving Mountains Gets Easier

    • Thank you for that, sunshine 🙂 But you know, sometimes here and there I have my bad days. The important thing is that we all get through them. No one can ever be happy all the time. Such is the nature of life. However, having that positivity in a general sense helps… and I just want to share it with you all 🙂

  1. Your attitude is one of your most powerful weapons, Amy! I definitely see a change. At the beginning, there was a lot of (understandable) anger at Kevin and what he did. Now it seems you take that past as simply events that took place from which you can draw lessons for your future. While in no way excusing Kevin’s actions, you’ve taken ownership of your past, and thus also taken control of your future. That’s an INCREDIBLE accomplishment, made even more significant by the speed with which you managed it! 🙂

    • I wish more people had not necessarily my outlook but one close enough to it that they could also be enabled to shed the shackles and chains holding them back from healing and building not only a new life but one where they glean fulfillment and dare I say happiness, with a measure of peace and hope in there with it.

      I have seen some posts from survivors who, even 8 – 10 years are still trapped where I was the first few months after I left. Not saying that I am criticizing them or judging them. Maybe healing for them is just not so simple. However, emotionally I feel so much hurt for them, because while they have escaped the physical prison in which the abuser held them, they still are trapped in the chaotic mental prison so long after. I can’t imagine how hard it has been for them to carry that burden for so long. There are no easy solutions to handling PTSD, and so many other situations play into and contribute to PTSD symptoms. Part of the trouble may be that they have never fully confronted what was done to them (meaning they pushed it down and ignored it), maybe they didn’t have a strong support group, maybe they also were previously dealing with depression before the abuse, maybe it has happened more than once…..

      In my case, already enduring through things in my childhood and having to fight off depression for so many years, I loved and still love being alive and having my peace that I just forced myself to confront everything in this situation as well. Confronting means not only accepting what happened and cleaning up financial messes, etc, and getting counseling, you also have to do copious amounts of internal examination and be willing to work on changing things about yourself that need working on. I am not only referring to things the abuser said were true about you, because they generally lie and warp just a little crumb of truth until it’s unrecognizable. You have to roll up your sleeves and actively work to negate those lies.. and in the beginning, as in my case, I needed others to remind me of this for a while and in your case, you had to actually be vocal about it with me and correct me when I started listening to that Kevin voice echoing in my head.

      I am also referring to things about our personalities that were already in place at the time we met the person who would abuse us. For me, this was the normalcy of different levels of abuse I had witnessed and experienced growing up, self-doubt that may have been instilled in me as a child by parents but that I did not work to counteract as I became an adult, being overly loyal (which can be catastrophic if you are being abused), being a “fixer” like my grandmothers… I am not saying this is justification for what was done to me or that I deserved what was done, but I have to acknowledge that it contributed to him being able to take over and rip me apart. I had to look at all these things and more, because as an adult, I must claim responsibility for how my character and personality develop and grow. I cannot point the finger and brush off the blame. Can I acknowledge that what was done before is a contributing factor? Absolutely, because it was, without a doubt. But I don’t have to live it anymore as an adult.

      And I choose not to. As the meme floating around says: “Ain’t nobody got for time for that!”

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