2 comments on “What We Say Matters: The Unseen Scars of Verbal Abuse

  1. I absolutely agree. I experienced horrible verbal, emotional, and financial abuse and control at the hands of my ex. I am beginning to recover, but I wonder if I will always have that bit of self-doubt. My mother was either a narc or socio, too. She did her bit on me as well. Thank you for your informative and heart-felt posts! KD

    • I think in time, you will be able to get past the majority of the self-doubt you feel. This is something I struggle with almost a year later. I know I still cannot be objective about myself and an often unsure about what I am doing… if I am making the correct decision, saying the correct thing, wearing the appropriate clothes. What I do when this thought in all its forms comes into my head is remind myself that it isn’t my voice that is echoing. It is his. It is the doubt that he planted in my head, and I don’t have to listen to it. It may sometimes take some fighting against, but it will go away.

      Unfortunately, I do not think this is something we can totally heal from. I have seen so many stories of survivors years out who still struggle with this, in addition to still having some vivid triggers. Being a survivor of domestic violence is not for the faint of heart. I feel that we display amounts of strength that so many others will never have to know in their lifetimes, and we also have to be courageous enough to keep fighting the garbage that was forced into our heads until we are able to find our inner voices again and rise above. Above the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty, the loathing, the insecurity, and so much more.

      Even if this doubt never completely goes away, we do not have to let it control us or hold us back from becoming the women and men we are meant to be. Keep fighting the doubt as it tries to gnaw at your confidence. In time, it *will* fade.

      Thank you for your comment! I am glad that you enjoy my posts. 🙂

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