I have to confess that I was looking for the original footage that aired on Oprah in 2007 that featured Susan Still. As you know, I had previously posted a video on her story that aired on 20 / 20 and was interested in hearing more of Susan’s story. However, I came across something better. An update on Susan and her two sons, Dane and Dazmann, from OWN in 2011.
So often we see stories about the negative, the hurt, and the pain a survivor endured, but is isn’t always so easy to come across updates to see how their lives have played out for them since leaving the person who abused them. Since I saw the 20 / 20 footage, I have wondered this several times, in particular with how her sons have faired growing up with having to navigate their ways through this pain.
So, for those of you who have had to leave an abusive relationship with children, pay close attention to how Susan’s sons, Dane (at the time this aired, he was 22 and is now about 24) and Dazmann (at the time this aired, he was 16 and is now about 18) and how their outlook on life has been affected by leaving their father. It may give you some encouragement, especially if you are worried now about how your children are handling the pain they may have experienced as a result. How are their relationships with their mother? How has the abuse of their mother at the hands of their father affected them? Watch and see. You will be smiling by the end. I know you will, because I was.
And for those of you who are having a hard time getting the abuser’s voice out of your head, just as I am, listen to Susan as she talks about her struggles with this. Even eight years later (at the time this was filmed), Susan still had trouble sometimes overcoming that echo from the past. However, just as she did and still has to do from time to time, I am sure, remind yourselves of the truth so you can overcome the lie. You are NOT stupid. You are NOT a bad parent. You are strong, intelligent, beautiful, and amazing. And they can’t ever take that knowledge from you.