I had no idea what that pang was protesting inside me, refusing to keep quiet even as I tried to hide it in the shadows to avoid reprisal. There was no way to calm its anxiety as it urged me to desire something I could not understand. The thumping and rapping against my skull that would not abate, driving me to obsess about the unknown. This emptiness inside me, a feeling of loss I could not connect, drifting and ebbing in my veins even in the numbness that had overtaken me. It was there always distracting me, burning like an inferno the more I tried to ignore it.
After so much darkness, fear, and suffering… to come out into the light, fearful that everything is lost to coldness, emptiness, and defeat… there in front of you in the crisp evening air lies the greatest gift of all. The gift of hope. You just need the eyes to see. To ignore the cold, look past the world around you as it lies in suspended animation, seemingly in a state of permanent depression. This will pass. You just need the eyes to see. Here, frozen in patient expectation of the future, is what you thought you had lost. What you thought was impossible and unachievable.
Despite the feeling of being trapped in a rut while you see others racing past you. Despite feeling like the chaos and emptiness will never end, it waits here for you. Life, hope, and love. When you reach out, it will find you. But you first need the eyes to see.