18 comments on “A Little Thing That Means A Lot

  1. I think you look beautiful. Keep fighting for your own strength and needs. You can do this!!

    • Hi sweetie 🙂 I used to be sorry I endured it but when I think about who I am now, believe it or not, I have gratitude. I would never have learned my own strength or the peace of depending on others.

      And I am glad my hair is back where it belongs 🙂

      • It’s a shame that some of us have to go through such degrees to have gratitude, but I understand what you mean. You look amazing.
        (By the way, I’m sorry I unfollowed you, I’m not sure what happened. Think I’ve corrected it now!).

        • I don’t think gratitude was ever really an issue for me… But if it was, I can say that it will certainly stick now. LOL As for looking amazing, I keep hearing this thing from so many people… and it makes me self conscious. Just yesterday, one of the accountants interrupted my conversation with one of the ladies in treasury so she could tell me how good I look and how nice it is to see me wearing makeup and jewelry. I blushed and then felt a mini panic coming in my head, because I was being noticed and subsequently complimented. So strange. Totally don’t know how to handle that. But thank you 🙂

          Sometimes WordPress does nutty things. I like posts, it doesn’t register. I re-like them, it still doesn’t register. I think somehow I stopped following a blog once when I wasn’t even logged into unfollow, but hey. LOL We are intrepid and fearless bloggers we are. It doesn’t matter that somehow you unfollowed because you’re here again 🙂

  2. You describe such cruel assaults in this post – it is as though, by attacking the feminine symbol of your hair, he attacked the very essence of you.

    “the beauty of my heart is far more than you ever deserved to behold” ~ wonderfully stated, and the beautiful photo says it all 🙂

  3. You remind me of Kate Winslet….so pretty…also very strong! I know the feeling of not understanding why we are suffering in this strange alternate universe with these men….and I do admire your writing style…please keep on as I find it gives me strength…

    • Ah Kate Winslet. When I look in the mirror I feel like the furthest thing from her possible. On a good day I feel average and the rest, I find his voice sometimes creeping in to poison and ruin my day. I take selfies of myself every day, and I study them, looking for and pointing out to myself only good things. The vast majority of them get discarded, but on days where I really need the change in attitude it helps. People of course misunderstand and assume I have some humility problems, but I am really just trying to help myself reverse the garbage he planted. Sometimes when I need a laugh I take pictures of myself making goofy faces and then when I see someone else having a bad day, I walk up to them and show them the face on my phone. And their eyes light up and they get a laugh out of it, and seeing them happy makes me feel better as well.

      I am glad that you get some encouragement from my posts. It’s a double blessing that in sharing we not only unburden our own hearts but helps others to do so as well. Even if they are struggling with pain or difficulties not associated or caused by abuse, it can still give them hope. Thank you for your comment.

  4. Your beauty – both inner AND outer – is yours, and no one can take that from you. I love your hair. Short, long, or somewhere in between, it all looks good on you. It’s such a shame that Kevin sought to attack your femininity by cutting it off. He certainly knew which buttons to push. For the record, regardless what length your hair, no one will ever diminish your beauty and worth as a woman in my eyes. 😀

    • My dear Kerwyn, I have to confess that I read this comment a few hours ago and have been trying to think of a worthy reply. Not because I fear any reprisal or criticism from you if I fail to get it just right, but because I want you to know how much these things you say mean. After so much pain and jumping headlong off the cliff in disbelief I would dare trust anyone would be waiting at the bottom to keep from demise, to fall back into you, the one who has become my home, is a blessing that no words can ever do justice. Even when I am feeling ugly and hideous in the throes of a trigger, acting crazy and forgetting what I have now, you see past the shell into my heart, and you bring me back to my center. Back to peace.

      I hope that others are able to one day take the risk and let themselves trust enough and have faith that when they jump, they, too, will fall into the kind of love that welcomed me. Because after so much hurt, there is no better place to land.

    • “What everyone else said.” That is awesome and succinct. 🙂

      Ah my hair. Sometimes I just wish it wasn’t so….. testy. Uncooperative. It is always straight, because unless I were to get a perm, everything falls out within hours of doing it. And none of you have ever seen what it does in the summer heat and humidity of Tokyo! That would be intersting for sure. LOL Thank you for your comment.

      • I have , for a few weeks, been washing mine with baking soday and then rinsing it with an apple vinager rinse. I re-blogged it on my blog. There are a few variations.
        My hair has been soft and easiER to deal with. Check it out. You may like it.

  5. WOW, you are beautiful my favorite blogger friend…I hope that while Kevin reads this he overdoses with the last thought being your beautiful hair…..

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