I did not make my way through this maze of darkness (that I managed to capture on film one morning) to sit down and rest once I made it to the clearing. I found my path, and I have no reason not to take it. In fact, to ignore what is staring me in the face would be a great disservice to myself, because I would be stunting my growth. Taking a cue from a wonderfully passionate woman who herself today posted about the importance of growing, I have decided to tackle the over-grown elephant in the living room and move on. The time for rest is over. The time for reflecting and considering and pondering has passed. I have stood at the precipice staring in urgent expectation at the lush, unending landscape below me long enough.
This means that I have to leave some things behind, perhaps some people, but before you start raising your eyebrow at me, this blog is not going anywhere but forward. I have hit a wall in terms of what I want to accomplish, and I had to find the motivation to get out my sledgehammer and knock the sucker down. Unfortunately at times, this may mean that I may not be as prolific as I have been, but I promise that I will still be feeding the blog-ster inside me. (You have seen the length of my posts. Do you think I can really manage to be quiet for long… without developing a nervous tic?)
So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, my future awaits. Over the next several weeks, I will be researching some properties in the area to get an idea of what is actually available here, taking into consideration needs for space and how the major things I want to accomplish are going to impact the area I choose. However, there are a few urgent issues I need to sort out in regards to convenience and safety. The county in which I live has much rural land sprawling wantonly for miles in every direction imaginable, so the final selection must be able to be convenient enough without sacrificing safety.
What is my finally goal? As I have stated in pasts posts, when I left, I learned in the face of a life or death situation that there was no shelter in my own county of residence. I discovered as we called several counties in the surrounding (and even more distant areas) that the shelters were all full. Further, I became aware of the fact that the county’s idea of providing emergency shelter to a victim fleeing violence at home is to put them up in a motel. Due to the costs on the county, the time they are provided shelter in these motels is limited to keep a cap on the cost. There is no security. They are trapped if they do not have a vehicle. If the abuser tracks them down, they cannot get away quickly, because we are surrounded by farms and woods. There is limited public transportation, and the local cab companies would just assume you sell a kidney to get money before they ever offer anything out of kindness.
Further still, because we are such a rural area, decent paying jobs and jobs with benefits are scarce. As such, even those here who have what many considered in the past to be stable, lucrative jobs for this area have had to seek help from social services and food pantries, because they just cannot make ends meet. County domestic violence services are stretched as thin as they can get. They are often times inconsistent, as a few are trying to do the work of an army.
My immediate goal is find a property and get funding to make a shelter for those fleeing violence readily accessible. There are transportation issues that need to be addressed, but there is a way around that. Past the obvious security issues that also need to be addressed, I want the shelter to not only be a place to stay, but a refuge where they can take the time they need to restabilize and begin the enormous task of rebuilding their lives. It goes without saying that other services I will be looking to seek funding for are counseling, assistance with food and clothing, perhaps medication and educational related expenses for children, accommodations for pets, laundry, maybe a commissary, and a community center. I have plenty of other ideas I need to decide if they are plausible or not, but if you have any ideas you would like to run past me, feel free to leave it comments or email me.
For me, doing these things means my face and my name being made public in my area, which could bring some unwanted attention from a certain individual. But the fear of this is not enough to stop me. It also includes the consideration of just really throwing myself off the cliff without a safety net and revealing him here. I have been toying with this idea for a while, but as was suggested to me by Kerwyn (who has the amazing ability of keeping me grounded when I need to be), I need to make a call to get some legal advice about the possible repercussions of this on me legally. But I guess if he didn’t want anyone knowing what he really is, he shouldn’t have decided to be a woman beater. True story.
At any rate, I have used up the last portion of my lunch. So off to the wonderfully fabulous world of accounts payable and the never-ending influx of invoices. If I can call it anything, job security would definitely be a fitting term. I will try to post more in-depth about my plans before the end of the weekend.
PS……… I have bangs. 🙂 Even if I still detest them on me, at least everyone around here likes looking at them. 😛