This post on “What Makes a Life” is simple, yet deeply personal, revealing questions we as survivors struggle to find answers to as we work our way through the aftermath. For those who have never experienced trauma from abuse, this is an intimate look at just a few of the battles we face after leaving. It isn’t over when we leave. No, it’s really just beginning. If you know someone who is struggling through their aftermath, reach out to them, and instead of focusing on why and how it happened, simply ask, “How are you doing today?” “How can I help you?” And let them know you are going to stick around. We really all need the support, even if we are further out from the abuse we experienced than others. Speak with compassion, be genuinely concerned, give us the freedom to heal, and just love us, even on the days we may be maddeningly frustrating to you. Imagine if you’re unsure how to handle this chapter in our lives, how much more it is for us, because we not only have to figure our own lives out, but we have to worry about how everyone else reacts to us.
As a domestic violence survivor, I am plagued with the stigmas, the shame and the guilt of being who I am.
But even worse than that is the self-doubt I feel and the questions that haunt me on a daily basis.
Will I ever be able to love?
Will anybody ever be able to love me?
Will I always be this sad?
Will I always think death would be easier?
Will I always be alone?
Will I always be “that girl who was beaten by her boyfriend”?
Will I always be this angry?
Will I ever be able to forgive?
Will I ever be able to be a normal young woman?
Will I ever be able to have fun again?
Will I ever hear him say he’s sorry for how much he has hurt me?
Will I have a future?
Will I ever not have PTSD?
Will I ever be able…
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