23 comments on “Why I Gave Up Anonymity

      • They always think they broke the victim and for awhile even the victim believes it but we are strong women, way stronger than they ever give us credit for and once we pick ourselves up and find ourselves again we are stronger than ever. They are the cowards, the weak ones.
        It’s wonderful to hear the strength in your voice. You have been on quite the journey and have come so far.

        • Yesterday I filled out three applications for volunteering. I picked the three closest DV orgs. We shall see what they have available. So many paths to choose and yet I am only one.

          He doesn’t know how strong I am, but I promise you he’ll find out.

          ❤ you

  1. Hell, yes. You go, girl. You had Battered Syndrome, for sure. That is what that fear that your abuser is all knowing, all powerful is. I think you don’t have it anymore. I don’t want to hide, either. I wish I had a personal Gavin De Becker, to tell me when I am not at risk anymore. I feel like this will be my life forever.

    • Oh hon, it won’t be like this forever, I promise. For now, you have to keep yourself and the kids safe. You won’t need anyone to tell you once you’ve reached that point. You’ll feel it in your gut, and you’ll just go with it. There is a wide range of emotions that come with it, but you’ll know when the timing is right.

  2. I absolutely love your boldness. The issue of hiding, resonates strongly with me as I have just done something really brave. i have told a family member about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. I am sick of hiding and carrying the shame of others as my own!!

    • My loss of anonymity freed me. Can’t hide behind anything anymore, so I might as well live my life right! Right now I am trying to figure out exactly which path I take next. There are so many open to me and, while I know it’s impossible, I can’t take them on all at once. I think I have to take an accounting of my circumstances as they stand right now and take what I know I can handle.

      Thank you for your comment

    • I have found that many of us seem to come into the next benchmark together. Our thoughts run similar, our choices can mirror each other.. I when that happens for me it encourages me and gives me validation that where I am on my path is okay for who I am right now. And I am glad that others can benefit from that.

  3. I am a survivor of domestic abuse and I, too, was afraid to tell my story for fear of the repercussions. I was married to a very bad man who has died since our divorce was finalized. He left behind a very hurt, confused little girl ~ our daughter ~ and I have vowed to myself (and her!) to do everything in my power to help her heal and put the ordeal of living with abuse behind her where it belongs.

    I decided to turn my negative experiences into something positive by helping other women in similar situations. I provide an outreach program for anyone who needs help by assessing the sort of help they need and articulating their needs to the relevant agencies.

    I have followed you and invite you to do the same. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sharing mine, too.

    God Bless You and take care.

    Co-founder of Café Sanctuary Outreach Service

    • Hi Carol,

      I am sorry that you also endured abuse but feel joy for you that you are able to speak out and want to help others get to safety and rebuild their lives. I’m actually checking this over lunch at work. I have gone to your blog and followed you; I will read through posts later when I have time.

      Bless both you and daughter. With love and support,

      • Hi Amy,
        Very nice to hear from you. Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I believe that we survivors have a special bond because of the fact that we understand each other, without the need to explain.

        Blessings to you. Please take care and keep in touch. 🙂


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