A much needed post about fighting against being “different” after trauma. So many of us set trapped thinking we must be who we were again… that the normal before trauma HAS to be the normal after the trauma. It just does not work like this. There are parts of our old selves that will resurface, but there will be differences we can never fully reconcile. It doesn’t mean we’re broken or somehow failing in our healing. It simply means we are changed by what we went through, and that is ok. It’s impossible to come out of something traumatic like abuse without some changes occurring. They are a natural part of surviving. Embrace them and take joy in being able to learn yourself all over again. There are so many gifts waiting for you.
With love and support,
Lately I have been pretty hard on myself. I have been looking back on my journey of healing from my abusive marriage and I have been pretty harsh with myself. Some of the things I have said to myself are; “Why aren’t you better yet?”, “Why don’t you act like you used too?”, “What is wrong with you?” I have to admit I have not been my own best friend. Nor was I being very fair to myself. After breaking down and shedding many tears it dawned on me, how could I be who I was before I married my ex? Who I was before had not been abused by her husband for 15 years. Who I was before had not been hit, pushed and endlessly screamed at. All by a man she trusted. A man she had committed her life to in front of God, her friends and family. I realized how…
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