6 comments on “Showing Love: Why Abuse Survivors Are My (S)Heroes

  1. I am crying. Don’t really know why except you have such a wonderful way with words and you were so absolutely dead on the mark. The biggest fallacy about domestic abuse is that the victim’s are weak. it takes incredible strength to endure that kind of abuse and keep on getting up when it seems everyone is kicking you back down. Instead of being ashamed or feeling flawed in some way survivors should walk proud with their heads held high. The weak and the one who should be hanging their head in shame is the abuser.
    I hope you don’t mind but I am forwarding this to a few local woman’s shelters and support groups. It needs to be heard.
    Lovely job. You are so very talented!!

    • I feel like because we were conditioned to think so lowly of ourselves – among these things being worthlessness, shame, loathing, and burden – it’s hard for each of us to step back and examine ourselves with the intent of recognizing positive traits that were central to being able to endure and escape the abuse and to be able to push forward through the aftermath once we have left. We are so quick to diminish and dismiss these things in ourselves because we have been brainwashed into believing so many horrible things about ourselves, yet we see them so glaringly in others and rightfully tell them we see it, because we know how much they need to be reminded how beautiful and amazing and strong they all are – men included.

      I’m guilty of this myself, and I found it to be a profound experience to sit back and examine my experiences and not only look for but acknowledge and appreciate myself for being as amazing as I tell everyone else they are. Deep down I know I’m a giant super hero, but that conditioning – his voice – still erodes at that and taunts me, telling me ridiculous things like I was weak for not being able to take it any longer, that I was at fault, that I may have deserved it, that it wasn’t really as bad as I think. Every one of us knows that none of these things are true, but self-application eludes us. It may take years for me to overwrite the garbage he forced in, but it won’t keep me from pushing forward and working to put my voice and my view of myself entirely back into my heart and mind. It isn’t an issue of pride for us to recognize and accept these things. It’s an issue of loving ourselves and finally giving ourselves due credit for being as inspiring as we really are.

      Thank you for always sharing so much of others’ stories and writing on your blog and your social media. That support is so encouraging to all of us, and you give so much to others even when you’re having a hard time yourself. I appreciate everything you do, and I hope those tears were happy tears 🙂 ❤

  2. Thanks for this reminder Amy. Abuse survivors have had to overcome much, and its wonderful to be reminded how far we’ve come. Keep up the good work!

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